NY Giants receiver PAXICO BURRESS has pleaded guilty to attempted weapons possession and will be sentenced to 2 years in state prison for the the November 2008 nightclub incident in which the NFL star shot himself in the leg.

Two years. For shooting himself.

Now of course carrying a gun into a crowded nightclub was about as smart as…Then shooting yourself in the leg with it. But two years? And yes, had he shot someone else, it would’ve been a disaster. However since when is our legal system based on what could’ve happened rather than what actually did?

So we thought we’d take a look at the five other crimes Plaxico could’ve committed to ge two years or less jail time. Now remember, we’re not advocating these crimes – instead we’re simply comparing the facts…

5. Grand Theft Auto – Let’s say on the way to the club, Plax stopped and picked up a whip – as long as he didn’t have that damn gun on him at the time of his arrest, the ACLU says for a first time offence it’s likely he’d get 4 – 6 months house arrest – despite any damage that might’ve been done to the car. With good behavior, he could’ve finished the season.

4. Arson – The New York Bar association website states that the average sentencing for a first time arson offence (with no human injuries or fatalities), is 1 year behind bars. So Plaxico could’ve skipped the gun, partied, waited until everyone left the club and then burned the sucker to the ground. He probably would’ve still caught the tail end of 2010 training camp.

3. Armed Robbery – Plaxico (who signed a $25 million deal with the Giants in 2005), could’ve taken his trusty gun to the liquor store not far from the club and held them up – thus drinking for free and also netting a small profit (under the $400 federal limit of course). According to National Criminal Case studies, that little field trip would’ve gotten the receiver 6 – 10 months behind bars – leaving him just enough time to still watch the Super Bowl from home (assuming his good behavior allowed him to finish the last 2 months on home confinement).

2. Attempted Rape – According to the ACLU, in New York State the average jail sentence from 2006 – 2008 for attempted rape was 7 months. That means had Plaxico left the gun in the car and instead went to the club that night and tried to sexually assault a waitress, he’d be home in time for March Madness.

1. Alcohol-fueled Vehicular Manslaughter – Shout out to Donte Stallworth